It’s a rare occasion when I sit down at 7:30 am in the morning, flip on the television and watch a Netflix documentary. But after 4 straight days of early morning rises, this is what I did. I invited Brene Brown into my family room to join me in my day.
Now if you have had the good fortune to watch The Call to Courage on Netflix I am sure we share, at the very least, an admiration for her stage presence. Beyond that I can only reflect upon my personal admiration for her work, her research and her word.
To itemize all of her insights would be a total spoiler for you. But there was one that I would like to expound upon because it resonated so deeply with me.
I was totally qualified to lead the line of the great many of us who go through life mechanically. I tended to the daily tasks that needed tending to. I said ‘have a great day’ without thought as someone left the house in the morning. And I grudgingly tackled the nuisance of the daily dinner menu.
This was how I did the normal of my everyday life. I did normal mindlessly. Until I got cancer.
In no way, shape or form do I consider this disease, my disease, a blessing of any kind contrary to those who have offered up to me the notion that some form of clarity is tied to a cancer diagnosis.
What going through cancer did do was steal my normal. Those aspects of mundane in my life were replaced with appointments, tests, results, recoveries and fears.
I found myself searching for normalcy and it was in that search that I found gratitude. Yes, in the midst of it all, I became grateful. Grateful for hearing the garage door slam because I knew that someone made it home safely. Grateful for a dish breaking because people were eating together. Grateful for kids fighting because those children are mine and they are well and they are near. Grateful for my sleeping husband because he is my best friend and most avid supporter.
As life moves forward from cancer and with the grace of God that I am still living it, I have gratefully settled back in to my normal. It’s not, nor will it ever be perfect. But I have made a commitment to practice gratitude daily which helps me to breathe and accept some nuances of my normal that will never quite be appreciated. Case in point is the danger zone marked by the 75 pairs of shoes piled in my back hall for instance.
So here is to Normal! Normal is where I live most of my life. Normal is that sweet spot between the highs and the lows. And normal is right where I want to be.