Cancer Taught Me to Embrace Normal

It’s a rare occasion when I sit down at 7:30 am in the morning, flip on the television and watch a Netflix documentary.  But after 4 straight days of early morning rises, this is what I did.  I invited Brene Brown into my family room to join me in my day.

Now if you have had the good fortune to watch The Call to Courage on Netflix I am sure we share, at the very least, an admiration for her stage presence.  Beyond that I can only reflect upon my personal admiration for her work, her research and her word.

To itemize all of her insights would be a total spoiler for you.  But there was one that I would like to expound upon because it resonated so deeply with me.

Appreciating Normal

I was totally qualified to lead the line of the great many of us who go through life mechanically.  I tended to the daily tasks that needed tending to.  I said ‘have a great day’ without thought as someone left the house in the morning.  And I grudgingly tackled the nuisance of the daily dinner menu.

This was how I did the normal of my everyday life.  I did normal mindlessly.  Until I got cancer.

In no way, shape or form do I consider this disease, my disease, a blessing of any kind contrary to those who have offered up to me the notion that some form of clarity is tied to a cancer diagnosis.

What going through cancer did do was steal my normal.  Those aspects of mundane in my life were replaced with appointments, tests, results, recoveries and fears.

I found myself searching for normalcy and it was in that search that I found gratitude.  Yes, in the midst of it all, I became grateful.  Grateful for hearing the garage door slam because I knew that someone made it home safely.  Grateful for a dish breaking because people were eating together.  Grateful for kids fighting because those children are mine and they are well and they are near.  Grateful for my sleeping husband because he is my best friend and most avid supporter.

So Now…

As life moves forward from cancer and with the grace of God that I am still living it, I have gratefully settled back in to my normal.  It’s not, nor will it ever be perfect.  But I have made a commitment to practice gratitude daily which helps me to breathe and accept some nuances of my normal that will never quite be appreciated.  Case in point is the danger zone marked by the 75 pairs of shoes piled in my back hall for instance.

So here is to Normal!  Normal is where I live most of my life.  Normal is that sweet spot between the highs and the lows.  And normal is right where I want to be.

 

Self Care is Part of Prevention

I must confess that changing over to a monthly newsletter was motivated by 2 very different reasons.

First and foremost I felt that lengthening the time between newsletters would allow me to pull together better quality material in a very concise format that would also serve to lighten your inbox load.

My second motivation has to do with steps that I am taking towards establishing a much-needed cultivation of self-care of myself.

I have taken on new ventures over the past couple of years and although I love and have loved each of them, the time commitment and mental preparation to ensure that each project is completed to my standards has been in the forefront and taking proper care of myself has been way down on my priority list. And that mode of conduct has come right around to bite me on the butt. Over the past few months I have had 2 rounds of a cold and many sleepless nights but perhaps the biggest issue has been a flare up of my lymphedema. This particular little nuisance has cost me dollars, a boatload of time and the grand inconvenience of having to have my arm taped from hand to shoulder to bring down the swelling. It has interfered with my workouts, washing dishes and wearing short sleeves. And if I had of done what I knew very well I should have been doing all along to take care of myself, I could have avoided this entirely.

At this point I could easily turn this blog in to a lesson on lymphedema care. But I will save that for another time.  You see I am really good about doling out information on health and self-care but over the past few months I have realized that I need to become a student of my own teachings. And I venture to guess that many of you are in the same boat, taking care of others and things and commitments and neglecting your own needs. Self-care isn’t self-indulgence or self-ishness. It is an act of kindness to both yourself and those who depend on you.  Think of it this way. If you go down, how many are you taking with you?!!

You must take time to take care of yourself now before you are forced to make time later.

 

 

comfort zone

What’s so Wrong with Being in my Comfort Zone?

It’s been a busy time family wise and business wise. So much so that reflection has come only in the mirror these days. But in the midst of a flurry last week driving hither and yon, while thinking about how my to do list keeps on lengthening, I couldn’t help but think of how much I just wanted to be in my track pants. Literally.

I was tired. I didn’t ease in to 2017. It felt as though I was shot out of a cannon.  One that I fired myself.  I had just finished running my first online detox program, doing a talk for a group of marathoners and hitting 3 university in 5 days with my daughter who is looking for a landing spot next year.   This in addition to our clinic practice, which is taking on a head of steam of its own.

It’s constantly pointed out by all of the successful people in the world that it is by moving outside of our comfort zone that we get our greatest opportunity for growth and achievement.  I don’t disagree.

In fact for the greater percentage of time I do believe that pushing the envelope is necessary to gain ground on the successes that I desire.  But I also think that there are times when taking my foot off of the accelerator, stepping back and regrouping is also an opportunity for my growth through a process that perhaps I don’t appreciate as much as I should.  Reflection.  Reflection is a necessary part of growth.  Weeding out the good versus the bad; the necessary versus the irrelevant.  Reflecting offers me the opportunity to regroup and recharge before my next push beyond the boarders of my safe zone.  Reflecting helps me to regain my focus.

Although my comfort zone  is the space that, for a large portion of time, I work so hard to breach the borders of, it is also the space that I don’t.  It is the space where I don’t have to try so hard.  It is a space where I don’t feel guilty about the status quo.  It is the space where I can relax and just settle for things the way they are.

It is that lovely space where the tea is hot, the phones are quiet and where my track pants are the dress code de jour.  My comfort zone.

 

 

 

 

 

Tips for Achieving Your New Year’s Resolutions

Ringing in the New Year symbolically turns the page to a blank canvas offering perhaps the wish for  continued happiness or the hopes for better times to come.  And although we cannot know what the future holds, we can perhaps influence our path in the right direction through the many choices that we make.

New Year’s resolutions often revolve around weight loss, exercise and time well spent.  All very valid and well intentioned targets but without a clear plan these goals can be hard to achieve and can fall by the wayside quickly as life gets in the way.

So this year, instead of looking down the road of a marathon, let’s go step by step with simple strategies to help us achieve our goals.

My offerings to you…

Be mindful

Stop looking ahead and enjoy where you are right now.  If we keep looking forward we miss now and now is where we have the opportunity for our greatest happiness.

Be mindful of what you eat and what you drink.  Don’t just feed your body, nourish it.  Food matters.

Move

Exercise means different things to us all.  Don’t start off at the level you want to be at, meet yourself where you are.  If that means going for a walk each day, grab your Fitbit and go!

Don’t sit for more than an hour at a time.  Get up and get that blood circulating.

Get Good Quality Sleep

Sleep is where we detox and repair.  Make sure that you sleep in a dark room with no electronics close by.  Have a bedtime routine.  Don’t eat right before bed.

And finally…

Cut Yourself Some Slack

Be realistic!  Achieving good health isn’t crossing a finish line.  It is a life long commitment to treating yourself with respect and graciousness.  Make it your goal to do one good thing a day for you and build upon that.  This could be anything from drinking lemon water in the morning, to setting aside time each day to listen to your favourite music or reading a good book.

My wish for you is a year and a lifetime of abundant happiness, dreams that become reality and the opportunity to share them with those whom you hold dear.

Happy New Year!

Tips for Achieving Your New Year’s Resolutions

Ringing in the New Year symbolically turns the page to a blank canvas offering perhaps the wish for  continued happiness or the hopes for better times to come.  And although we cannot know what the future holds, we can perhaps influence our path in the right direction through the many choices that we make.

New Year’s resolutions often revolve around weight loss, exercise and time well spent.  All very valid and well intentioned targets but without a clear plan these goals can be hard to achieve and can fall by the wayside quickly as life gets in the way.

So this year, instead of looking down the road of a marathon, let’s go step by step with simple strategies to help us achieve our goals.

My offerings to you…

Be mindful

Stop looking ahead and enjoy where you are right now.  If we keep looking forward we miss now and now is where we have the opportunity for our greatest happiness.

Be mindful of what your eat and what you drink.  Don’t just feed your body, nourish it.  Food matters.

Move

Exercise means different things to us all.  Don’t start off at the level you want to be at, meet yourself where you are.  If that means going for a walk each day, grab your Fitbit and go!

Don’t sit for more than an hour at a time.  Get up and get that blood circulating.

Get Good Quality Sleep

Sleep is where we detox and repair.  Make sure you sleep in a dark room with no electronics close by.  Have a bedtime routine.  Don’t eat right before bed.

And finally…

Cut Yourself Some Slack

Be realistic!  Achieving good health isn’t crossing a finish line.  It is a life long commitment to treating yourself with respect and graciousness.  Make it your goal to do one good thing a day for you and build upon that.  This could be anything from drinking lemon water in the morning, to setting aside time each day to listen your favourite music or reading a good book.

My wish for you is a year and a lifetime of abundant happiness, dreams that become reality and the opportunity to share them with those whom you hold dear.

Happy New Year!

 

 

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